Leading scientists from Europe, America and Asia have finally proven, after years of in-depth analysis, that farts are naturally funny.
For years there has been an argument, mainly between males and females, over whether breaking wind is funny or offensive. Studies have now shown that blowing a good anal waft is funny and those offended are actually missing a vital neutron in their brains. How did they conduct this study? Scientists took babies from different countries, up to the age of 6 months. As we all know, at that age a baby does not understand the meaning of offensive and therefore acts in a more natural way. It was found that 83% of the babies laughed after each botty belch, 14% simply smiled following a burst of rectal air, while those who didn’t smile or laugh were shown to have no soul.
Further studies show that as we get older we change our opinion; men often continue to laugh every time a peer pulls off a mighty guff, whereas women tend to go and do it in secret. It seems that from a female point of view it is actually more of an embarrassment rather than a lack of soul. When some secret filming was done, many women were caught laughing in complete hysterics in private. Of course, a woman can actually let one go twice as much as men, due to their anatomy.
We spoke to one of the scientists who completed this experiment, Dr Onga Orstafilsson. “We are confident that a fart is actually a hilarious thing. People have been doing it since the dawn of time, even animals find it funny. We recently found a fossil of a Tyrannosaurus Rex that had an open rectal passage and a huge smile on its face, probably one of the last ever dinosaurs to fart during the time their world came to a tragic end. We need to let up more and be free with our bowels, so enjoy yourselves when you feel it’s time to let a big one go, have a laugh every time you trump. There is no shame, as long as the smell is not too bad, of course. There are people who say it’s the sound that’s funny and the smell that’s offensive; perhaps that is indeed true but more studies will be needed.”
James Globdule Jnr from the University of Halifax explained, “We are encouraging people to squeeze a sly one out now and again, but also to enjoy the vast array of noises that can be produced by loud ones. The anus is like a musical instrument. If we weren’t meant to use it, God wouldn’t have designed us like this. He’s made us with flappy bum checks and tight ring pieces in order that we can enjoy making so many funny sounds. All I would say is be ‘free and let the wind doth blow’.”
What do you think about farting? Is it funny or should it be something you should do only in private? Let us know on our Facebook page today.
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